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Huffington Post: Melania’s Policy on Bullying

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Melania Trump has assured us that, as First Lady, she will work tirelessly to end the scourge of bullying. It’s an undertaking fraught with arduous challenges, but as demonstrated by the below leaked draft she’s clearly ready to move us forward as a nation.

Rule #1Female students need to lighten up toward their male friends, who are just having a good time. Accordingly, a male student may say or do any of the following, without worrying about abiding by the rules of political correctness:

Rule #2: It is okay for 60-year-old male teachers to point to 10-year-old students and say, “I’ll be dating her in 10 years.“ 

Rule #3: It’s just plain fun to point out racial and ethnic differences. So students may say or do any of the following, again without worrying about abiding by the rules of political correctness—as long as the student follows it up by insisting, “I’m the least racist person you’ve ever met.

Rule #4: When all is said and done, it’s really not fair to label a student as a “bully” when the target of the so-called bullying deserves the ridicule. In those situations, students may do any of the following:

Rule #5: A student can’t be held responsible for saying something truly awful about another person, so long as the statement is attributed to “some people” or the student first points out that s/he is too nice a person to say what s/he then says.

Of course, certain bullying behaviors are still beyond the pale and will be dealt with strictly and severely. Specifically, the following is prohibited:

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Kevin G. Welner

NEPC director Kevin G. Welner is a professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder School of Education, specializing in policy and law. He and Alex Molna...